OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sarcasm needs its own font
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
