If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
