Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
