Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
