Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
