i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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