Sry I called you an 8
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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