no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Randomize
