Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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