Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
