Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
