so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how do flat chested girls get laid?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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