hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
