He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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