drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
