see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
