Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have demons in me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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