Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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