i permit you to call me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
