I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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