i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
