Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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