Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
