the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Panties = found
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