i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
