Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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