One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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