So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
