Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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