Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
