pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
