he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
