I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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