I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
