wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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