My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
