its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
