I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
