week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just blew my weed a kiss
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
