you would pick up someone in the library
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
