I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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