You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
