i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
