He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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