Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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