Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
