But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
