im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
