Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
There's even glitter on my cock...
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