you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We got so high we made milksteak
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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