youre lurking in front of me
I need help removing her.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
