My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
